


Angel in the back seat

by Signe_chan



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-29
Updated: 2012-06-04
Packaged: 2017-11-06 06:30:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/415822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signe_chan/pseuds/Signe_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That is how Bobby came to find out about the entire mess by finding Dean in the back of the impala with his trousers around his ankles and an angel’s mouth around his cock.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean didn’t mean to start sleeping with Cas, it just kind of happened. They’d been celebrating, and it had been so fucking long since they’d had anything to celebrate. He’d already been anyone’s when Castiel appeared and sure, he’d kissed the guy first. He didn’t think he’d really meant anything by it but Castiel clearly thought he did mean something by it. And, shit, how do you even tell an angel of the lord that he was a one night stand? A drunken mistake that would have never happened if he was sober. How do you say that when the damn angel of the Lord is looking at you like he hasn’t quite decided yet if he wants to smite you or fuck you again? 

So, the sex became a regular thing. It was no big deal. They were discrete because even Castiel could appreciate that Sam walking in on them might be a bad thing. That worked for Dean, because one thing Dean did well was avoidance and he had no more desire to have the “I’m fucking Cas” talk with Sam then he did to have the “I didn’t mean to start fucking you” talk with Cas. 

As an equilibrium it worked pretty well. Cas understood not to act any different in public so Sam kept out of their business. Dean was getting regular sex. Cas seemed to like it. Nothing to complain about. 

~*~*~*~

They’d been stuck at Bobby’s for over two weeks now and Dean was going fucking insane. It wasn’t just the being stuck in one place, though that didn’t help, or the research that seemed to be going nowhere. It was, well, Bobby’s was small. Getting some time alone with his hand had always been a challenge here. Getting some time alone with his stupid angel who hadn’t learnt to be quiet in bed was damn impossible. 

So, when the opportunity presented, Dean was a bit stupid. It was 4AM, though. He’d heard Sam snoring on the way out, laying half off the couch. And Bobby was locked away, almost definitely asleep. He’d crept down to the impala and Cas had appeared as soon as he started praying. And yeah, sex in the impala, not a great idea for a relationship (and fuck, when did it even become a relationship) you want to keep hidden, but he was running out of options. 

Cas didn’t seem to mind, pulling Dean close almost as soon as he was in the car. That is how Bobby came to find out about the entire mess by finding Dean in the back of the impala with his trousers around his ankles and an angel’s mouth around his cock. 

~*~*~*~

“Get out of the car,” Bobby said, keeping the shotgun trained on Dean. Dean raised an eyebrow, or he did his best to raise an eyebrow but, honestly, as Cas chose that moment to move of his cock and sit up his face could have done anything. 

“Can I get a moment here?” he said, gesturing down at himself. Bobby didn’t move the shotgun. 

“I said get out of the damn car,” he barked. Dean glanced at Cas, but Cas was just looking at him, eyebrow raised as if he expected Dean to have the answer to this situation. Dean shrugged and then moved to comply, yanking his trousers up as he went. 

“The fuck is wrong with you?” he snapped, fastening his fly. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with you?” Bobby snapped. “Now, I can’t say I checked frequently but last thing I knew Dean Winchester wasn’t no queer.” 

“Technically, I am without gender,” Castiel offered quickly, as thought that would make this conversation better in some way. 

“Not helping, Cas,” Dean said. “Can you just…go.” 

Cas looked insulted for a second, and then disappeared. So great, not only was Dean having a shotgun pointed at him by a man he thought of as a dad but his regular lay (and he wasn’t thinking of Cas as anything more than that) has abandoned him. 

“You’d better start explaining, boy,” Bobby said, not letting up on the shotgun. 

“I was drunk,” Dean replied. “I mean…shit, Bobby. Haven’t you ever done something stupid when you were pissed.” 

“Hell yeah, but I don’t keep doing it when I’m sober,” Bobby spat. 

“Yeah, you ever had to explain to a god damn angel of the lord that he was a drunken one night stand and you’re not really in to that?” 

“No, ‘cause I’m not stupid enough to get myself in that position in the first place,” Bobby snapped. Of course, Sam chose that moment to amble out on to the front porch, making Dean’s humiliation complete. 

“What…what’s going on?” Sam asked, looking from the shotgun to Dean and back again. 

“I sure as I don’t know,” Bobby snapped. “You noticed anything odd about Dean recently?” 

“You think he’s possessed?” Sam asked, stepping forward. 

“What?” Dean spat. “Fuck no, I’m not possessed. What the hell?” 

“Might be a skin walker?” Bobby suggested, shrugging.

“Fine, let’s fucking prove this,” Dean snapped, holding his arm out. Sam approached slowly and cut him, first with a silver knife then with the demon-knife. When it was done he shrugged and turned back to Bobby. 

“Seems like it’s just Dean. What’s got you so convince he’s possessed anyway?”

“You even known your brother to screw men?” 

“No,” Sam replied, rounding on Dean again with a raised eyebrow. 

“Man!” Dean protested, as if that made it any better. “Just the one.”

“And a great one you picked, idjit,” Bobby snapped. “Honestly, you’d think you’d have sense enough not to fuck supernatural shit.” 

“Wait,” Sam said, connecting the dots. “You’re sleeping with Cas?” 

“Shut up,” Dean snapped. “I didn’t…look…I was drunk! And then, fuck, I couldn’t tell him that. So I did it again. It’s regular good sex, who am I to argue with that?” 

“You’re leading an angel on?” Sam asked, and trust Cinderella there to focus on that part of it. 

“No,” Dean protested. “He knows the deal. It’s good sex, we have fun. I don’t see why my god damn sex life is anything to do with either of you!” 

Bobby finally lowered the gun, looking a little sheepish. Sam looked like he was ready to rip Dean a new one for his apparently awful treatment of Cas and Dean, well, Dean just wanted to run. 

“It’s just new,” Bobby said, finally. “I thought I knew you…” 

“You do know me,” Dean protested. “I’m still me. I’m just me and sleeping with Cas.” 

Bobby looked less than convinced, shaking his head slowly. But he did finally drop the subject, heading back into the house without another word, which in a way was almost worse. Dean knew this was fucked up. He knew all the reason he should have stopped this earlier, a part of him had almost been looking forward to the dressing down, the anger, but all he saw in Bobby was a kind of quiet disappointment. Sam stayed outside for a little longer, looking at Dean like he might try talking about feelings, but in the end he just shook his head and headed in too, leaving Dean to slump back into the back seat of the impala. 

This was fucked. The entire thing was fucked and he hated it. Hated that he LIKED being with Cas. Hated that he’d lied, it wasn’t that he couldn’t quite Cas, at least a part of it was that he didn’t want to. That was the honest truth of it. And now Cas was angry at him. Hell, as might have been listening to that whole thing and might never talk to him again. Sam was angry with him for befouling an angel of the lord, like they didn’t do that already just by knowing him, and Bobby was disappointed in him. 

He didn’t sleep at all that night, just sat in the back of the impala and wondered why nothing in his life could ever just be simple.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean had half expected Cas to rematerialize at some point, either to resume where they left off or to argue with him. It didn’t happen, though, so that was all still a damn mess when he finally got up the balls to slink back in to the house the next morning. 

Bobby and Sam were both in the kitchen when he let himself in. Bobby just gave him the same disappointed look from last night and excused himself with his cup of coffee, but Sam looked like he’d been brooding on this all night and was ready to talk feelings. Dean stumbled past him and grabbed some coffee, it looked like he was going to need it. 

“Alright, Sammy,” he said finally, flopping down at the table, “What have you got to say to me?” 

“Well, can we start with what the hell you think you’re doing?” Sam asked, eyebrow raised. Dean sighed and took a long drink of his coffee. 

“Look, I don’t see as it’s any of your damn business,” he snapped. “What me and Cas do when you’re not around has nothing to do with you.” 

“So, it really is just sex?” Sam asked, looking even more disapproving. “I mean, I was going to give you the benefit of the doubt and presume this was all just some macho posturing but if you don’t see how this might be some of my business then I guess it really is just sex for you. That’s messed up, Dean, you know.” 

“Shut up,” Dean growled, “I don’t see as it’s any of your fucking business.” 

“Of course it is,” Sam said, slamming a fist on the table. “You’ve been calling me gay and acting the macho guy for years and suddenly you’re screwing a dude and you expect me not to bat an eyelid. I mean, honestly, if you’re gay I’m not judging. Well, not much. You have been a bit of an asshole. But, seriously, if you’re really just using Cas because he’s the only person around who’ll fuck you…” 

“That’s not it,” Dean spat. “And I’m not gay. I’m not! I don’t like men and I’m not some fucking limp-wristed queer. Honestly, Sam, do I look gay?” 

“See, this is what I’m talking about,” Sam snapped. “As far as I’m aware the only way to be gay is to screw men, the rest of it’s stupidity and lies. But with all the shit you’ve given me over the years for not being as much of a man because I talk about feelings so must be gay? Is that seriously what you think? That sleeping with Cas makes you less of a man.” 

“You really want the details about who the man is in this relationship, Sam?” Dean growled. 

“Oh my god, listen to you. You’re clearly both the man here, this isn’t about one of you being a girl, you idiot. Sleeping with Cas doesn’t make you a girl and admitting you have feelings wouldn’t make you a girl either and I’m sick of this.” 

“Then let’s shut up about it.” 

“Not the conversation,” Sam growled. “I’m sick of you and this fucked up emotional repression. Will you just admit that you like Cas and that’s ok.” 

“Of course I like Cas, he’s like a brother.” 

“Dude, this should go without saying but you don’t fuck your brother. And don’t give me some bullshit about mistakes, you know if you asked Cas to stop then he would. This is still going on because you haven’t stopped it, because you want it to still be going on.” 

“Oh fuck off, Samantha, if I wanted your evaluation I’d ask for it,” Dean growled, kicking back from the table. He’d had about enough of this. Enough of them judging him. This was exactly why he hadn’t told anyone, because he didn’t talk about shit like this. 

And, ok, maybe Sammy had some kind of stupid point in there, he wasn’t exactly flying a rainbow banner and maybe he was more than a bit uncomfortable with the entire gay thing. If you’d asked him five years ago if he’d have a regular thing with a guy ever he’d have laughed you right out of the room, because he wasn’t that kind of guy. Couldn’t be that kind of guy. Hunting was a man’s game, no chicks and queers. 

But it was different with Cas. Cas was…Cas was Cas. Nobody knew him like Cas, nobody had done for him what Cas did for him. So, yeah, maybe he made an exception for Cas. That wasn’t a bad thing. 

Didn’t make him queer. 

Bobby was sat in the living room and he looked up when Dean came in. Looked disappointed still and, ok, Dean was kind of spoiling for a fight. 

“What the hell you looking at?” he snapped. Bobby’s jaw tightened. 

“I’m trying to understand here, son,” Bobby said, slowly and deliberately. “’cause I didn’t raise no queer, and I know your daddy didn’t. Not that I have problems with people being what they want, but you’re telling me you’ve suddenly come over all gay ‘cause a god damn angel fluttered his eyelashes at you and you’re expecting me not to think something’s going on?” 

“Oh for fuck sake,” Dean said. “I can’t explain it, Bobby! It’s just…”

“Have you been queer all along and been hiding it?” Bobby asked.

“No!” Dean replied, throwing his hands in the air. “God damn it Bobby, you know me. It’s always been women, and there was Lisa…but Cas. Fuck, it’s not just sex, Bobby. It’s just Cas.” 

“You’re not telling me you done fallen in love with that angel?” Bobby asked and Dean winced, physically stepping back and raising his hands. 

“No, I’m not saying that. Not at all. All I’m saying is that it’s not just sex. It means something. Shit, Bobby, I’ve screwed so many women in my life I can’t even remember them all. I could pass them on the street and not know. Lisa’s the only one who ever meant anything and that’s mostly because she had Ben, I think. I mean, she was a swell girl and all but…Cas means something.” 

“So you’re gay.” 

“Fucked more women than I can remember, Bobby. I like tits.” 

“But you’ve come over all harlequin romance for a guy?” 

“I didn’t mean to sleep with him. Wouldn’t have if he hadn’t come along when I was just the right mix or horny and alone, you know. We’d have done the brother thing forever. But that’s not enough now, Bobby.” 

“You’re messed up,” Bobby commented, and Dean knew it was true, but he just felt tired. Tired and sore because he hadn’t meant for that much truth to come spilling out, but it was hard to be angry with Bobby when he was being so…Bobby. It was the truth, too. He’d never lusted after Cas before he slept with him. Hadn’t been hiding some secret fantasy for years, but it was different with Cas, and not just in the obvious biological way. He could trust Cas in ways he couldn’t trust the chicks he fucked. Trust Cas to put up with his posturing and his bullshit and still be there in the morning, still give a damn about him because the idiot saw something in him and Dean didn’t know what the hell it was but apparently it was enough. 

“I know,” Dean said, and his voice felt raw. Everything felt raw and sore, another damn wound to add to the collection. He’d known Bobby would never accept this but, well, he’d hoped Bobby would never find out. “I’m gonna take a walk.” 

Bobby didn’t comment and Dean let himself out. 

~*~*~*~

The scrap yard never changed that much. New stuff came in and old stuff went out now and then, but Bobby’s main focus was hunting so the thing stood mostly as a monument of neglect. The same cars in the same piles they’d been in when he was a kid and he’d explore out here with Sammy while his dad and Bobby discussed ‘adult stuff’. 

He waited until he was out of sight of the house and picked a car to park himself on and began to pray. It took longer than normal for Cas to appear and when he did he looked pissed off, which was just great. Normal life in the day of Dean Winchester if every damn person that mattered to him was angry or disappointed with him. 

“Our relationships was a mistake?” Cas asked, and Dean signed because he should have known the stupid angel would listen in. 

“You heard that bit then. Hear anything else?” 

“I was called away. I have more important matters then you.” 

“I’m sure you do,” Dean agreed placidly, kicking back and swinging his legs. “Might have heard something interesting in the rest of the conversation though.” 

“I did not see how anything else could be relevant,” Cas replied, fidgeting in that way that meant he probably wanted to punch Dean. Or fuck him. At the moment, probably punch. “If you did not lie to Sam and Bobby then we should terminate our relationship now.” 

“Calm down,” Dean said, letting his eyes close. “Now, listen, because I’m damn tired and I’m only going to say this once more, I’m sick of justifying myself. Yeah, I probably wouldn’t have slept with you if you hadn’t caught me drunk but…fuck…this isn’t just that, Cas. It’s not even that. It’s not about sex and more and you fucking know it.” 

“Then what is it about?” Castiel asked, still fidgeting. 

“It’s about feelings,” Dean spat. “I…I have these feelings. I hate talking about this, Cas, but I have these feelings about you and, look, it was just sex but it isn’t now. Now it’s something more, I guess. You’re pretty damn important to me. Can we just leave it at that.” 

“Your refusal to talk about your feelings is highly infuriating, and this entire situation could have been avoided had you been more honest,” Cas replied. 

“Thanks for that,” Dean said, but when he opened his eyes and looked over at Cas, the other man seemed to make a decision. He walked over and grabbed Dean’s shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. And, ok, maybe everyone else was angry with him but he could deal with all that later, once he’d made things up to Cas. 

~*~*~*~

The next morning Bobby handed him a paper with a mysterious death circled, so he guessed he was forgiven as far as that went. It was going to take time for them to be ok again, he knew that, but at least nobody was pointing a gun at him anymore and, hell, the guy had loved his zombie wife. Maybe when he’d had some time to get over the shock he’d understand what it was to…want…somebody in spite of what they were, because of who they were. Not that he’d ever dare say anything like that to the other man, yesterday had been enough talking about feelings to last a lifetime. 

Sam was harder. The first half hour alone in the impala was spent in aggressive silence, the hour after that in Sam arguing with him about what gay guys were like. The hour after that spent in oppressive silence while Dean glared at the road and Sam gave him incredulous looks, and intermittently attempted to ask him if he was in love with Cas. 

Cas himself showed up about noon with his usual tidings of doom so Dean pulled in to the next stop and Cas elaborated over burgers. Before he took of they had a moment, over by the impala while Sam was settling the bill, where Dean let Cas take his hand for a second and they looked at each other and dean promised to be careful (because Castiel apparently considered himself in possession of the right to ask Dean to promise that now). Then Cas leant his head on Dean’s shoulder for just a second and Dean let himself put his fingers in Cas’ hair and it felt good, just for a second, to be there together before things got messed up again. 

Sam interrupted it, of course, and Cas fluttered of to do important angel business. But something had changed when they got back into the car. Sam seemed less angry, more thoughtful. About fifteen minutes out he made some lame ass joke about being the best man at the wedding and Dean called him a bitch. He replied with Jerk and Dean knew everything was going to be ok.


End file.
